April Fools Day
by The one and only Kanra-chan
Summary: A prank goes horribly wrong.


Work Text:

"Ah, fuck," Izaya seethes, as Shinra pokes and prods at his bare chest. "I can't believe you've done this."

"Well, Izaya, you have to admit there are some…" Shinra's eyes traveled down to his newly acquired breasts, lingering there with more than medical interests shining in his eyes. "Perks. Ow!" Izaya smacks him, glaring hatefully at his friend.

"Fix this. Now."

"Okay okay, but like I said, I don't know where my dad put the cure. So in the meantime, why don't you just enjoy the benetits? Benefits! I meant to say benefits, I swear!" He yelps, narrowly avoiding getting stabbed by an angry, male turned female Izaya.

"Damn you," Izaya seethed, glaring down now at his own body. Well, actually, it wasn't his body, if the new breasts and vagina were anything to go by. "You could have made them bigger, at least," he sighs.

"Screw you, these are heavy!" Shizuo snapped from the other side of the room. The poor boy turned girl was hiding under a mound of blankets, too traumatized to do much else but glare and smack Shinra everytime the idiot asked to look him over for any damage.

"I told you, it's all genetics," Shinra soothes, smiling reassuringly. "Bend over for me, Izaya?"

"No!" Izaya glared harder, but truthfully he wasn't worried about Shinra being a pervert. His pants were starting to become wet, and he was too embarrassed at the implication that his friends medical exam of the breasts he didn't have 20 minutes ago turned him on.

"I just need to make sure your body is fine, I swear." Shinra held up his hands peacefully. He'd already inspected Izaya's chest, his heart and his addmittidly perky tities, checking any problems.

"You are getting nowhere near my privates, you filthy pervert!" He snapped, but Shinra wasn't really listening, focused on Izaya's pants. The ones that had fit him perfectly when he still had a dick.

"It's not like you to be shy… is something wrong?" Shinra glanced up at his eyes, looking concerned for once. Izaya pressed his thighs together, ignoring the wetness between them and the pain that was starting to become apparent. Did girls feel pain when they got aroused?

"What?" Shizuo caught their attention, voice high from both his new female vocal cords and his concern. "What's wrong? If that stupid serum of yours did something to us I'll kill you, I swear!"

"Nothing is wrong," Izaya growled, backing stiffly towards the door. He could smell it, though, the iron of blood in the air, and if Shinra got much closer he was sure the future doctor would be able to smell it as well. Izaya wasn't wet, he was bloody, and the pain was growing, along with his fear.

"Izaya, if there were complications I need to know. Shizuo seems to be fine, but she's-sorry, he's got a stronger body, so…" He stepped closer, and Izaya could feel more blood running down his thighs with every step he took away from Shinra. His heart was hammering in his chest now, actual real fear taking hold and replacing the anger at Shinra's little prank. He wanted to go curl up somewhere and ignore the problem, he needed to get away from the reality that something really was wrong.

He bolted towards the door, suddenly intent on escaping, but Shizuo caught him before he could, grabbing him by the wrists and dragging him back bodily. The blonde- and how was it that his dyed hair had grown past his shoulders and was still fully blonde? That wasn't even possible, right?- dragged him back to the operating table, ignoring his frantic protests. He pulled himself and Izaya onto it, sitting behind the future informant and holding his wrists up and secure with his superhuman strength. He also used his own knees to keep Izaya's legs partially spread, so Shinra could check for problems.

"I'm sorry," Shizuo mumbled. "I know you're scared but we need to see what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, so _let go_ of me already," Izaya seethed, struggling furiously.

"C'mon, I'm sure it's nothing," Shinra laughed. "You're too worked up about this, really."

"I hate you!" Izaya yelled, as Shinra peeled away his pants, too dark to show the blood. He couldn't even close his legs with the way Shizuo was holding him, and he hated it. Shizuo gasped behind him at the sight of the blood, where it started pooling slowly across the table. The pain was getting worse and worse, and Shinra quickly lost any amusement he held before. He looked sick, eyes locked on Izaya's privates with alarm.

"Oh, oh god. It, uh, looks like you're losing a _lot_ of blood. Shit, where's it all coming from?" Shinra asked, almost rhetorically, peering closer. He reached out without looking, finding and pulling on some stark white doctors gloves. Izaya was on the verge of tears, pain doubling along with his anxiety. _'Something is wrong,'_ he thinks, biting his lip. Finally he stopped struggling, allowing Shizuo to restrain him while they all started to feel more and more anxious. At least with his bangs so much longer than before he could hide his face behind them. It was weirdly comforting.

"Periods, women get periods, right?" Shizuo exclaimed hopefully, but Shinra shakes his head with a tense frown.

"Yeah, once a month, but the blood is- it would take too long to explain, okay?" He spread Izaya's thighs a little wider, flinching when Izaya let out a little gasp of pain. "But there wasn't any time for him to get a period, it can't be that. Izaya, does it hurt? Could you tell me how badly, and where?" He reaches out again, gloved hands prodding him very carefully, and Izaya finds he's starting to feel the fingers less and less with the pain deep inside growing so strong. It's like all of him is centered to hs insides, a big ball of furious agony, so strong that it's sapping all the feeling from everywhere else in his body.

"Endometrium," Izaya mumbles, starting to slump in Shizuo's arms. He's dizzy, the world spinning to madness around him. Aside from deep within his intestines, his whole body is numb now, and while it's vaguely alarming, Izaya's panic is dulling to a distant roar, as if the danger were a waterfall and he's mentally gone a safe distance away, observing it but not close enough to actually touch the water. He can't feel Shinra's fingers prodding, searching desperately for the source of blood.

"... _What?_ Oi, Izaya, stay with us." Shizuo snaps, shaking him a little when the blonde starts no notice how he's losing strength rapidly.

"The endometrium, it has a base layer and a functional layer. The functional layer thickens near the beginning of the menstrual cycle and is then basically torn up if there's no baby. That's where the blood comes from," Izaya explains, in a bit of a daze. He feels Shizuo shudder behind him, and notices the back of his ass is getting wet, too.

 _'_ _Is my ass bleeding?'_ he wonders, distantly, but when Shizuo presses closer to hold him better, he realises the fabric of the blondes pants are wet, too.

"Being a girl sounds like hell," Shizuo mumbles empathetically, blissfully unaware of his own dangerous predicament.

"Shinra," Izaya gasps without thinking, not questioning why he needs to help Shizuo. But black spots are starting to swim before his eyes, and he can't keep his head up anymore.

"I-I'm right here, Izaya, okay? You're gonna be fine-Shizuo lean his body back a little- everything will be okay." Shizuo shifts, pulling them both back, and his lower back gets smeared with the blood Shizuo doesn't even realize is there. Even in this form, he hardly feels pain, huh?

"No. Shi-Shizuo is, Is-" he takes a gasping inhale, feels like he can't fucking breathe.

"I _know_ you don't like him touching you, but it can't be helped," Shinra snaps. Blood is going everywhere, dripping down the table and coating his thighs. It's all over Shinra's gloves, too.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?" Shizuo attempts to soothe, and Izaya shakes his head furiously, scared that it's even getting hard to talk now. Will this happen to Shizuo, too? And if so, why does he even care…?

"No! Stupid…" he moans desperately. "You're… bleeding too..." Both boys- or, well, the boy and the former boy?- go deadly quiet, silence spanning across the room for one very tense moment.

Until, of course, Shizuo finally reacts. He lets go of Izaya, pushing him into Shinra's arms. The bespectacled boy barely catches him, lowering them both onto the floor, leaving Izaya sprawled halfway onto the floor and halfway onto Shinra's lap.

"Oh, oh fuck," Shizuo gasps, and indeed he's almost as bloodsoaked as Izaya is. "Shinra, what's happening!?"

"I-I don't _know._ This was my father serum, not mine." Shinra's hold on him tightens, dragging a barely conscious Izaya into a more comfortable position as best he can. His friend is struggling to breathe, and the reality that he might be dying weighs heavily on Shinra. "I don't know what to do, I-I don't know why you're both bleeding so much. Just-just… damn it! Shizuo, grab Izaya, we're going to the hospital."

"Right." Shizuo goes to do as he's told, sliding off the table quickly and reaching for Izaya's clothe as he does. But the moment he puts his weight on his legs the blonde collapses, unable to stand. "Shit!" Izaya starts to laugh deliriously against the front of Shinra's uniform, his whole body trembling. He's not amused at all, he just can't help but laugh. It's better than sobbing, anyway.

"Damn it, flea, it's not funny!" Shizuo yells, trying desperately to get his legs to move properly. His stomach is starting to ache, a pain "I can't get up! I-I can't-"

"Just _calm down,_ " Shinra pleads. "I'll call Celty, or an ambulance, just- stop laughing Izaya, this is serious," he hisses, but Izaya is too far gone, giggling manically against who is arguably his only real friend. It hurts, it hurts so much, and he's so scared he can barely breathe past the wheezing laughter. Shizuo hasn't noticed yet, and Shinra obviously can't tell, but he can feel it.

His body is tearing itself apart inside him, rejecting the new parts fiercely and desperately trying to correct things. And it's killing him.

"Oh, dear." Dr. Kishitani sighs, stepping carefully into the room. He spots a manic, bloodied, and mostly naked girl hanging halfway out of his sons lap and another, dressed but also covered in thick red plasma, huddled on the floor and trying despairingly to get up. "What a mess."

"Dad!" Shinra gasps, relieved. "I-I'm sorry, I tried to prank my friends here with, that new serum you were boasting about but-but something is wrong and now they're-"

"That serum wasn't completed," he says evenly, almost sighing. "It wasn't ready to be used."

"I...I didn't know. But you're here, so you can fix them!" Shinra looks at him pleadingly, holding his dark haired friend closer to his chest, almost cradling her. It's sort of interesting, when here Shingen had assumed his son cared for no one but Celty.

"There's no cure," he shrugs, watching the blonde one get weaker and weaker, cursing under her breathe over and over again. She was holding back tears of panic and pain, while the dark haired girl seemed like she was just struggling to breathe, gasping like a fish out of water and legs jerks subtly with spasms of pain. Exactly how his test subjects reacted as well.

"Then call an ambulance!" Shinra shouts, all patience gone at this point. Shingen feels sorry for his son, but there's nothing he can do.

"No. They'd become a medical mystery, news would spread, my serum might be discovered…" He walks forward, crouching down beside the dark haired girl in shinra's arms, laying a gloved hand against her cheek. She doesn't look at him, barely even flinches, but Shinra slaps his hand away anyway. _'Hmm...'_

"Besides.." Shingen sighs, drawing away. "At this point, they won't survive the ride to the hospital."

"It was a prank," his son gasps desperately. "I didn't mean-... I didn't mean to hurt you guys. I'm so sorry," Shinra whimpers. He sounds defeated, like he's given up on trying to save them, and it sparks a reaction in the blonde girl.

"You did this to me," Shizuo sobs, fury in his eyes and hands shaking where they're braced against the blood slick floor, the only thing keeping him upright. "I'll-I'll never see my mom or dad, or Kasuka again!. Never gonna say goodbye, and-and it's all because of you! You damn-YOU! _AURRGH!"_ Before Shingen's eyes, the blonde girl suddenly shrieks in anguish, grabbing a fallen medical textbook and hurling it at Shinra's face. Shinra makes no move to stop this, and he takes the hit with his head bowed remorsefully. He falls back, Izaya slipping out of his lap and making no move to get back up, all energy lost to the battle inside him.

"Dn't-" Izaya protests weakly from the floor. "Did..n't know…" Shinra feels his eyes go hot, thinking that even like this, Izaya still cares enough about him to defend him. He suddenly, desperately wishes he'd been a better, more openly caring friend.

Shizuo sobs harder at Izaya's voice, shifting to put his weight against the table behind him and grabbing Izaya's waist before anyone can stop him.

"Wai-wait, Shizuo, he didn't do anything!" Shinra pleads, dizzily sitting up. But Shizuo isn't hurting Izaya, just carefully pulling the other boy onto his lap and stroking his hair when Izaya starts to mumble a weak protest. It's not long, however, till he falls still and quiet against the blonde, far gone. He barely feels anything anymore, all his pain gone and the slowed beat of his heart is the only thing he registers. And even that is fading, now.

"I _know."_ Shizuo glares past his tears, holding onto Izaya protectively. "I'm not letting him die in the arms of his _murderer_ okay?"

"I'd say you have about two minutes," Shingen pipes up helpfully, holding out a cellphone. "Why don't you say goodbye to your family."He doesn't care all that much, but he feels a small amount of pity for the poor girl. Plus, he'd like her not to hit his son again, as she seems to be abnormally strong.

"What about Izaya?" Shizuo asks, glancing down at the still body in his arms, going cold all over when he realizes his enemy is no longer breathing. Shinra makes some pained noise off to the side, pressing his palms over his eyes and shutting them tightly, having noticed this too.

"She's already gone." Shingen says, still mostly indifferent, unlike his son and his sons friend.

 _"_ _He,"_ Shinra corrects angrily, past the tears in his throat. "Izaya is a boy."

"Alright, _he's_ already dead, then." Shingen waves his phone again at the blonde, gaining his attention. "Better hurry, you've got about one minute and thirty seconds." Shizuo takes it shakily, smacking Shinra when he reaches out to pull the fallen blanket over Izaya's body.

"No," he hisses, watching his devastated former friend turned murderer pull his (likely fractured) hand back. "You're not allowed to touch him." Shizuo pulls the blanket up himself, though his arm is shaking. He's rapidly growing weaker, allowing more and more of his weight to slump against the support of the table.

He dials his home phone carefully, praying he doesn't make a mistake and lose his last chance. His fingers have grown numb, along with his legs. He starts to cry again when he remembers his parents are both still at work. After the third ring, while he's holding back sobs and Shinra's father is holding up one finger, Kasuka picks up.

"Hello." Kasuka answers, and Shizuo starts full on sobbing, unable to help himself.

"K-Kas-kasuka," he gasps, trying to get a hold of himself, but he just can't. Images of all the things he could have done race through his mind, coaxing more and more grief from him. He'll never eat ice cream again, or chase Izaya, or feed his fish, or hug his mom, or laugh, never even smile again-

"...Mom?" Kasuka asks, and though his tone is flat as ever Shizuo can tell he's alarmed. He cries harder, realizing that as a woman he really does sound like his mother.

"No, i-it's m-me, Shizuo," he chokes. "I-I just.. _._ I love you. A-all of you." He lets the phone fall to the floor before he can hear his brothers reply, sobbing too hard to speak. That, and even just forcing the words out is getting hard. He can't even hold his head up anymore, and his vision is being overtaken by flurries of black snow. He wishes he had another blanket, to wrap around himself. He can hear his brother calling from him, and no one moves to end the call.

He spots Shinra through his tears, huddled in the corner with his knees up and face buried in them, overcome. For a moment Shizuo almost wants to say he forgives him, his heart aching with grief and fear and wanting things to just be alright…

But the weight of Izaya's incorrect body and the aftertaste of the tea Shinra had served them both strips him of any forgiveness. He's hit with anger and hatred, far more intense than anything he'd ever felt before, and finds he wants to be as nasty as possible. In that moment, in his last, he wants nothing more than to make Shinra suffer the way he and Izaya has.

"I'll never forgive you," he seethes, as his eyes close without his permission and his body slumps down to the blood smeared tiles of Shinra's little examination room. "Never."

It's a promise, his last promise, in fact, and he smiles as he makes it.

 **I'm sorrryyyyyy** **I was gonna post this on April fools day but that's ALSO Easter this year and it's just so so sad for a day of harmless pranks. I'm sorry! I really didn't mean for this to be so DARK. Legit, originally I was just writing down a joke I thought of to use later and was gonna go work on Nooses, but then damn the story just...happened!**

 **Comments fuel me 3**


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